Going further as a pup..

My last visit to my Trainer was a very important one to me.  I had asked that he take me further as a pup but this also meant that I needed to make some hard decisions about myself also.  My life until this point has really been dictated by me alone.  Many things that I wanted I worked hard for, creating the life that I was comfortable in.  

My livelihood depends on me making decisions, dictating how a project will proceed, directing workers on what they should do throughout their workday, but now I have found I need to allow another to direct me.  Listening to their orders, not taking things as mere suggestions when told to do things.  This is a hard concept to grasp after years of being the one in control. 

There is so much more to being a pup beyond the obvious.

It was a wonderful feeling when I finally pulled up in front of my Trainer and his Sirs home again. It had been 3 weeks since my last visit, I had been faithful to his orders of being sheathed when away from Him and was so looking forward to being out of it again. 

Rubberasylum and my Master had talked and agreed that I wouldn't be allowed to cum unless I was being trained with Sir.  I had whimpered when this was told to me but how could I argue against a decision made between both of the dominant ones in my life? 

As I reached the door a feeling of excitement came over me.  It was time to be a pup again, but first I was told that Sir and I needed to have a serious talk.  This scared me.  I have tried to be a good doggie for Him but I also knew I had failed at times.  My dominant side pushing through, questioning his authority that I had offered to him when he allowed me to be his dog. 

I rang the doorbell and heard Wetsuit Jay and Rubberasylum talking.  "Hes only a half hour late" was said as footsteps came down the stairs and the door was opened.  Sir greeted me with a smile and a big hug, it was so nice being back with my family.  We said our hellos and I brought in my bags, settling down in the kitchen for supper.  I was told there was going to be visiting pups tomorrow and I had asked if a great friend of mine could stop by who was travelling through the city which Sir had agreed to.  The weekend was going to be wonderful!

We finished our meal and we retired to the den.  Sir told me to get into my puppygear, sitting me down in front of him he said it was time for me to listen.  The dreaded talk he had spoken of earlier in the week.  I really had no idea what we were needing to discuss.  There were so many things I had thought of.  It wasn't as bad as what my mind had mulled over since he had said we needed a talk.  It was about my attitude and how I reacted to his orders and about what I truly wanted as a pup in my training. 

I had said things, not meant to be hurtful but they had been, and I had complained about some orders I had been given.  Not all of them, but there were some specific ones that had touched a nerve.  Looking back it seems foolish, I reacted without thinking, and this needed to stop.  Sir is always diplomatic in regards to me.  He knows that there is very little that I know about being a true puppy and he has held my hand, leading me slowly into learning what is proper and what isn't. 

Now since I had asked to go deeper he told me what it meant.  I needed to trust him completely, I needed to not be a bad dog and rebel against his orders, and that's what they were when he told me to do things, not suggestions but orders.  There was allot of actions that he stated, things I didn't consciously realize I had done that were disrespectful to him.  He asked me what exactly I wanted from my training.  That he didn't know how to read me, that I was a guarded pup and he himself couldn't really proceed unless I truthfully answered him.

What was I seeking to find in this?  The more I thought about that, the clearer it became.  I wanted the freedom to trust someone else completely.  I wanted to feel safe letting another have control, even if only for a short while, and not worry about being hurt in the process.  To realize this came as a bit of a shock to me, my training wasn't all about being controlled or kept as a pup, it was about trust more than anything.  I also realized that another goal was to find and allow a side of me free that I had buried years ago.  to free the part of me that longs to submit completely to another. 

Not as a slave, but as a dog who looks up to his Owner, wanting only to please them, to hear words of praise after doing something, not because ordered to but because they know that it pleases the one they have been given the joy of serving.  It was a revelation to me.  Learning in that instant that my goals revolved around pleasing others, something that I had tucked far away, afraid to let free for fear of being hurt by my actions. 

We finished our talk, both of us happier and better able to proceed.  My training would intensify but it didn't scare me now, I knew completely that I wanted this more than ever now and I had 2 wonderful men in my life, my Master and my Trainer that would lead me down this path, showing me how to succeed in what I truly wanted.  I got to sleep in Rubberasylums bed that night after he offered me the choice.  As He patted the covers I wuffed happily getting up beside him snuggling under the covers.  It felt so good as I fell asleep, laying there as a pup without a care in the world, able to be content with everything as the day ended.

   To be continued.....


~Rottie